submitting for a stronger marriage

I'm blogging here and NOONE is listening. Part of me says whew! no one is hearing me at all and I can pretty much say what I want. The other part of me says I'm up here on the web and what? I'm not interesting enough to listen to?

So let me put up something that is intensely private. I've been reading those blogs about discipline and like many of the women who responded to a recent poll on LDD blog I think about it too. What would it be like to be part of a relationship where one person has the final say. It would be different than being a child. The dominant partner listens, that's key, to what the other has to say and then makes the decision. Not about what to make for dinner but for bigger things. The submissive partner has to live by the rules of the other partner. No ifs no ands no buts (pun intended). If not there are consequences up to and including coporal punishment.

Is this a viable option for a marriage today? I don't know but there has to be a better way. I am frazzled with making the decisions and doing the housework and raising the kids and working full time. I feel like there has to be YOUR jobs and MY jobs because the bullshit of doing everything all of the time is too much. My husband is one of the good guys but when he has no input in what's happening he opts out.

For example, until recently I decided on the family's weekly budget with my husband telling me how much he needed for the week. I did all of the food, present and clothes shopping. At the end of the month we always had the same conversation. He "Why did you take out so much money this month". Me "Because I have to buy the food, give the kids money, pay for whatever else we needed this week. YOU DO IT and see how much money it costs to run a family these days." He was only responsible for himself and didn't see all of the other things going on.

So we made a change. He decides the weekly budget and gives me money for the week to go to work. He's responsible for all of the purchases including food. I had a really hard time agreeing to this because I saw it as a demotion. But since I've let go I been more peaceful. I was really stressing over this issue and didn't even realize it. I went away for the week with the kids and needed more money at the end of the week due to unexpected expenses. I was very stressed about having to get that money out of the Bank. Another plus for us is that the end of the month is not the beginning of a week long fight and sulk session about money. He controls it, the end.

It also makes me wonder if I let him take the lead more often would we have a better marriage? We have a great one now but could it be better if I wasn't so strong willed. Would he step up and became stronger?